When it comes to love, we're ambivalent about "opposites attract".
说到“爱情”,我们对“异性相吸”怀有矛盾的看法。
Busting the Myth That Opposites Attract
Back in college astronomy class, I sat behind a guy who wore a T-shirt with this on the back: " The best thing about the opposite sex is just how opposite they are."
It’s not just a rule in physics. There’s a strong cultural expression: opposites attract. Think Harold and Maude, Pretty Woman, It Happened One Night—Hollywood has long known the lure of antitheses in love.
But real research busts this myth.
Psychologists map out such evidence in a new book: 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology: Shattering Widespread Misconceptions about Human Behavior.
Psychologist Donn Byrne has found that we are twice as likely to be attracted to someone when we agree on six out of 10 issues than we are with someone who we only agree with on three out of 10 issues.
To be sure, the appeal of shared interests may be specific to long-term relationships.
A 2006 University of Pennsylvania study of speed dating found that daters said they wanted someone who had a similar background in education, religion, economic status and shared personality traits. Yet when they were in the midst of the one-minute date, they made choices based on more immediate cues like physical attraction. In the speed-dating environment—a bar surrounded by singles, under the pressure of a ticking clock—daters made choices based on short-term mating criteria that were more likely to lead to fast hook-ups, not necessarily long-lived love.
So if it’s the long haul you’re searching for, best look beyond the cute face and hot body, and see if you can carry the conversation beyond 60 seconds.
打破异性相吸的神话
在上大学的天文课时候,我坐在一个学生后面,他的T恤衫上印着一句话“异性之妙,在于他们的天壤之别。”
异性相吸不仅仅是一条物理定律,人文上也是如此。记得影片《哈诺德与莫德》(Harold and Maude),《风月俏佳人》(Pretty Woman),《一夜风流》吗(It Happened One Night)?好莱坞长期以来就知道在爱情中异性的吸引力。
不过现实的研究却打破了这个神话。
心理学家在一本新书中列出了有关的证据。这本书的题目为:“大众心理学的50个神话:打破有关人类行为的普遍误解”心理学家Donn Byrne发现,当我们和某人在10个问题上有6个能达成一致的时候,相比于那些我们在10个问题上只能有3个达成一致的人,我们被他(她)吸引的可能性要高出一倍。
可以肯定,共同兴趣的吸引力可能对长期爱情关系具有特别的作用。
宾夕法利亚大学在2006年对闪电约会的一项研究发现,约会者曾经说过他们想找一个在教育、宗教、经济状况背景相似的人,同时也有共同的性格特点。但是,当他们处于一分钟速配时候,他们做出选择却是更基于那些瞬间的信息,比如外貌。速配的氛围通常是在酒吧里面,单身男女要在有限的时间下做出选择,在这样的环境下,约会者做出的选择一般基于短期约会标准,这样他们更易于闪电结合,但不一定就能长期拥有爱情。
因此如果你要找长期伴侣的话,最好不要仅仅只看漂亮的脸蛋和火辣的身材,你需要看看你们是否能一起交谈超过60秒。
liuxuepaper's Vocabulary:
Ambivalent:(忧喜参半、好坏参半等)矛盾情绪的
Bust:打破
Myth:神话
Astronomy:天文学
Lure:吸引
Antithesis:对立;对照
Psychologist:心理学家
Shatter:使破碎
Widespread:广泛流传的
Misconception:误解;错误认识
Appeal:吸引
Specific:特别的
Trait:性质;特质
Criteria:标准
hook-up:联合
英语原文来自SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN《科学美国人》