My Life on Campus is Interesting范文及点评

 

Classroom, Canteen, Dormitory and Library constitute my whole life on campus. A lot of classmates often say to me “ Your life on campus must be so boring and monotonous!” I don’t deny I really used to be, but now I have found its interesting from this straight line life.

When I was a freshman, everything on campus was new to me. Living in this absolute strange environment, I felt so perplexed. At that time there was always a saying echoing in my ears “There is only one you can depend that is yourself!” Actually, on campus you have many choices to spend your daily life, such as Games online, Sports, Shopping, Studying and so on. Of course, different people have different way. As to me, I had the same thought as many students did have that I had been a college student, I am old enough and I can control my time, the hellish middle school had passed, it’s time to be fun, so I went online day by day, meeting the same people, chatting the same topic, watching movies one by one, at last I could even know how would the plot go on without watching the end. A month later, my eyesight became weaker and weaker, head ached, ears sounded, I had a feeling that I would die someday, truly I was afraid that would happen, finally I lost my enthusiasm on it.

Then I accompanied several friends to shopping, bought what I needed, ate what I wanted. After going back, lying in bed and recalling what did I get in the daytime, amazingly, besides some bags of fashion clothes and delicious food, I found there was only tiredness left. “That’s what I chase?” I asked myself. My soul answered no. I sobered overnight. That was really a long dream, when I woke up, one year had said goodbye. I took my book. At this moment, I found I just kept my pre-level.

People always say “If you can defeat yourself, you are the final winner.” I was enlightened by that one and then I begun to regard myself as my enemy and took the study as the weapon, library as my battlefield. However, I couldn’t lift the weapon as it’s too heavy. I couldn’t fit in the battlefield as it’s so quiet. I suffered more during that time. Yet fortunately, I stuck to it, went through the darkest time, I have seen the dawn. Where there was pain, now there’s joy. Where there was weakness, I found my strength.

Classroom, a place where I can show me off. Interacting with teachers and students, I absorb the knowledge as much as possible.

Canteen, which energizing me so that I can keep fit.

Dormitory, which proving me a good sleep, I travel around my dream.

Library, the biggest battery which I can recharge myself.

I get them all. I am enriched, so I think my life on campus is so interesting!

 

教师点评：

本文作者采用对比的手法，叙诉了自己校园生活的变化，把很多同学认为枯燥的学习生活写得非常生动。文章首尾呼应，语言流畅，特别是第三段落的描写，把学习比做武器，把图书馆比做战场等一系列隐喻的运用，以及后文的排比结构，使文章既生动又读来朗朗上口。从内容和写作手法看均不失为一篇好的英文习作。但文章结构不够清晰，有些语句还欠精练，以下是修改后的作文。阴影部分是较有特色的词句。 （指导教师：甘 敏）

 

修改后作文：

 

My Life on Campus Is Interesting

 

The Classroom, Canteen, Dormitory, and Library constitute my whole life on campus. Many classmates often say to me, “Your life on campus must be so boring and monotonous!” I don’t deny that it really used to be; but now I have found it is interesting.

 

When I was a freshman, everything on campus was new to me in this strange environment. I felt so perplexed. I always heard words in my head that said, “The only person you can depend on is yourself.”

 

Actually, on campus you have many choices in which to spend your daily life; such as Games online, Sports, Shopping, Studying, and so on. Of course, different people have different interests. As for me, I had the same thoughts as many college students. I was old enough to control my time. The hellish middle school has passed and it was time to have fun. I went online every day, meeting the same people and chatting the same topics. I watched the same movies so many times that I knew the plot without watching the ending. A month later, my eyesight was becoming weaker, my head ached, and my ears had a continual ringing sound. I had a feeling that I was going to die. Truly I was afraid that it was going to happen. I lost my enthusiasm for those activities.

 

Then I accompanied several friends shopping, bought what I needed, and ate what I wanted. After going back to my room, I lay in bed recalling what I had done. Amazingly, besides some fashionable clothes and delicious food I was only tired. “Is that all there is to life？” I asked myself. My soul answered “No!” I awakened from a long dream and one year had past.

 

People always say “If you can defeat yourself, you are the final winner.” I was enlightened by that thought and I began to regard myself as the enemy and took study as the weapon and the library as my battlefield. However, the weapon was too heavy and the battlefield was too quiet. I suffered much during that time. Yet fortunately, I stuck to it, went through the darkest times, and I have now seen the dawn. Where there was pain, now there’s joy; where there was weakness, I found strength.

 

Classroom, a place where I can excel, interact with teachers and students, and I can absorb as much knowledge as is possible.

The Canteen provides me energy so I can keep fit.

The Dormitory provides good sleep where I can travel in my dreams.

The Library is a large battery where I can recharge myself.

 

All things work together. I am enriched; therefore, my life on campus is very interesting!