习作原文

The earth we are now living on is seriously damaged by human beings .The air is already polluted and there are many rivers are polluted too.For example,the yellow river.More and more trees are being cut down,so many animals can't find their house ,they are in danger of extinction now .What will our world be like in 200 years if this continues ?Can people survive in such an enviroment?

As a teenager ,we should do what we can to protcet the environment ,we can plant more trees on 3.12 and save water and energy.

I think we'll have a beautiful world again.

批 改 老 师 pan_celia 评 分 91分 级 别 优秀 批 改

1. The air is already polluted and there are many rivers are polluted too. 此句要用过去式，表示动作已发生了, 无须用there are， the air 和many rivers 主语形式一致就好。
2. the yellow river，专有名词要大写, the Yellow River
3. More and more trees are being cut down, 时态用现在完成进行时 have been cut down，表示过去开始的动作，一直持续到现在，且对现在造成影响。
4. As a teenager ,we，应为As teenagers, we …主谓要一致
5. Enviroment，拼写错误，应为environment
6. protcet,拼写错误，应为protect
7. 3.12, 拼写不规范，应为March, 12th.

参考例句(文)

The air was already polluted and many rivers were polluted too.
More and more trees have been cut down
Many animals lost their house, and even worse, they are in danger of extinction.
I hope we can have a beautiful world forever.

点 评

文章结构鲜明，首段摆现实，写当前环境的危机，第二段写措施，结尾总呼唤。
语言表达基本正确，只是要注意句子时态的运用，学会用一些句与句之间的连接词。

给 分 理 由

有7处地方要批改的，句子各-2分，单词各-1分（As a teenager ,we，应为As teenagers, we …主谓要一致，Enviroment，拼写错误，应为environment ，protcet,拼写错误，应为protect ，3.12, 拼写不规范，应为March, 12th.） 共-9分。所得分为91分，请再接再厉，加油。

批改满意度 100%