my perfect bedroom(理想的:ideal ,perfect)我理想的卧室或我理想的房间
正文如下:
my perfect bedroom
I want to have a room of my own. The color of wall is shallow blue. I have a table by the window big white... So when I was reading a book, I can see the birds flying in the sky on desk, I want to take some books I will put this cute bear in bed on the other side of a small table in this, and my computer, I want to use it to communicate with my good friends. Of course, when I'm free, I want to play with them.
此文比较简单,liuxuepaper暂不提供翻译。
原文(作文地带提示:下文有错误语法,只为下面点评之用,如需正确内容,请参考上面的范文):
my idel bedroom
I want to have a room of my own.The colour of the wall is light blue.I want a big white desk near the window.So while I'm reading book,I can see the birds flying in the sky.On the desk Iwant to put some books.And I will put the lovely bear on the bed.On the other side there is a small desk.On it,there's my computer.I like to use it to conmunicate with my good friends.Certainly.When I'm free I would like to play with them.
作文地带点评原文:
I want to have a room belongs to myself(belong to sb:属于某人).The colour of the wall is light blue.I also want a big white desk to be near the window(在...旁边:be near...).So when I'm reading books,I can see the birds flying in the sky,too. I want to put some books on the desk.And I will put the lovely bear on the bed.On the other side, there is a small desk.My computer is on it .I like chatting with my good friends with it(在网上聊天,用"chat"更加亲切,还有“使用...”一般用“...with it”).Certainly when I'm free I like to play with games on it.(play with (如果对象是人,翻译为“和某人玩”;对象是物的话,翻译是“玩什么东西”。我猜你的意思是“在空闲的时候打游戏”吧?)
注:括号里的是给你的修改解释,其实你的功底还是很不错的。都没给你的动什么“大手术”呵呵。只是注意要避免“中式英语”,还有在写短文的时候,加点连接词能够突出文章的衔接性。加油啊!
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