I was fooled one day英语作文带批改

I was fooled one day

I was fooled by my friend many years ago . On that afternoon , I was thirsty after PE class . Because I had left my drinks at home . It was terrible that I had to study without water the whole afternoon . Then my friend passed my one bottle of mineral water and told me to drink it . Half of the water had been drunk by me , by the time I felt the water was really peppery .There was lots of pepper had been put in . I got mad at my friend and I was sick for the whole day . From this event , I knew that no matter what you do , you had better be as careful as you can , else you could be fooled by others .

批      改

1. On that afternoon , I was thirsty after PE class . 应改为One day Inthe  afternoon , I was thirsty after a PE class .
 
2. .There was lots of pepper had been put in . there be 结构用法不正确，这是个简单句，应改为：.Lots of pepper had been put in .
 
3. I knew that no matter what you do , you had better be as careful as you can , else you could be fooled by others .此句前半句是宾语从句，由no matter what 引导，就不用that引导。else 不能引导一个句子，应改为or。比较级用法欠妥，应改为：I knew no matter what you do , you had better be  careful as much as you can , or you could be fooled by others
 
 

参考例句(文)

1.One day Inthe afternoon , I was thirsty after a PE class .
 
2. ：.Lots of pepper had been put in .

3. I knew no matter what you do , you had better be careful as much as you can , or you could be fooled by others

作文地带整理点评

文章内容清楚明白，结构合理，层次分明。主要是存在些语言表达上不够准确的地方。建议多背诵些范文，多些多练，掌握好基本的句法结构，以期提高语言的准确性。

给 分 理 由

文章内容清楚明白，结构合理，层次分明。主要是存在些语言表达上不够准确的地方。有三处错误，各扣去2分，总得分94分。