Maybe you've lost your job. Maybe you didn't get the promotion you were hoping for. Maybe your sweetheart broke up with you. People say "Don't take it personally" and "Don't let it get to you," but that's very hard to do.

    也许你失业了，也许你没有获得期待中的晋升，也许心上人甩了你。人们说：“别放在心上”、“别让这事影响你”，但是要做到却十分难。

    If you're feeling disheartened, what are some strategies for making yourself feel better about yourself? It's pretty clear that repeating "I'm the greatest!" or winning a trophy along with every other second-grade soccer player isn't a good way to build healthy self-esteem.

    如果你这个时侯感到心灰意冷，有没有什么方法让自己感觉好一些? 重复“我是最伟大的！”或去和所有其他二流足球选手踢球来全胜，这些都不是建立健康自尊的好方法。

    At the same time, it's a rare person who isn't sometimes – or often – plagued with painful self-doubt. When you're feeling lousy about yourself, what can you do to feel better?

    同样，人总会时不时或经常地进行痛苦的自我怀疑。当你觉得自己差劲，有什么方法能让自己感觉好点?

    Here's the secret. To build your self-respect…do something worthy of your respect. To like yourself better…do something that makes you likable. It's tempting to think that support and encouragement from other people will reassure you, but A) often that doesn't work and B) often you can't winkle other people into giving you a pep talk.

    下面是秘密。要建立自尊，就去做值得你尊敬的事情。要更喜欢自己，就去做让自己更受人喜欢的事情。人们总容易认为，别人的鼓励和支持能让自己心里踏实，可是A)这往往不奏效，B)你很难诱使别人给你一段鼓励的话语。

    Here are some strategies to try:

    去尝试一下以下的策略:

    1. Do a good deed. This is as selfish as it is selfless; you'll benefit as much as the person you're helping. I had a friend who went through a period of tremendous rejection: she was fired from her job, she didn't get into the graduate program to which she'd applied, and her boyfriend broke up with her. Everything worked out fine in the end, and I asked her how she got through such a tough time. She said, "I was practically addicted to doing good deeds for other people. It was the only way I could make myself feel like I wasn't a total loser." Along the same lines…

    做件好事。即算无私，也算有私；你给予多少，也会收获多少。会和被帮助的人获得一样多的受益。我有一个朋友遭遇了一系列严重失败：她被解雇了；她申请读研失败；她的男友甩了她。可她都挺了过来。我问她是如何渡过这么困难的时期，她说：“我迷上了给别人做好事。这是唯一的方法让我感到自己不是彻底失败者。” 同理...

    2. Make small gestures of good citizenship. Bring your old magazines to the gym so other people can read them. Offer directions to someone who looks lost. Sign up to be an organ donor. My current favorite: picking up trash that other people have left on the subway. liuxuepaper.com