liuxuepaper Note:作文地带重点推荐,how is your generation different from your parents'generation?作文批改。作者我们这一代和父辈们的不同之处在哪里?的英文版原文见下页:点击查看
批改方案一:
Have you ever argued with your parents about some stuff(原料·材料的意思), such as clothing? Have you ever been deeply moved by their cherishment of life? Have you ever exchanged your future plans with your parents? If you do, then(delete) you will find that your generation is quite different from your parents' in many ways.
(作文地带觉得这段的对比应该强调我们和父母在很多问题的看法上有明显的差异。比如Have you ever been wondered why parents refuse to get any information from Internet while insisting in reading newspaprs, an old-fashioned medium in my opinion, everyday?)
The younger generation is generally more open-minded. Out of curiosity, they are ready to try new things. While older people tend to stick to the original ones. Then it is not hard to understand why we usually love pop music, but our parents admire classical ones.(论证的是一代人所特有的特点,你这个是青年和老年人的特点,每一代都一样。)
(三个论证段的论证力度应该是逐次递减的。你这个论点如果写不饱满就把它放到最后。)
Besides what is stated above, a major difference lies in the attitudes towards life. Due to the environment through(?) which they grow up, our parents have experienced dozens of difficulties, such as hunger, lack of education. Thus they cherish the life now they have. They generally know how to love people and to share with others. On the other hand, our generation is empowered with the abundance of materials and is relatively more selfish(貌似换成以自我为中心egocentric更合适). Do you still remember your birthday presents that your parents carefully picked up for you? But do you still remember(建议多些句式变换) your father or mother birthday? (We always go into raptures at the mere mention of birthday presents while our parents' birthdays are seldom kept in our mind.)It is quite necessary for us to learn from them at this point.(你这段的句子结构都是一样的,看着很容易审美疲劳的。)
The third difference is about the view of future. We are always optimistic about our future and tending to view it as bright as the sun. We are always filled with hope and excitement when talking about tomorrow. Our parents differ at this point. They had a glorious past behind them, and they always live as planned. Talking about tomorrow, they are always calm and confident.(这段也是青年人和老年人的特点…… ,况且我觉得,view of future is one aspect of attitudes towards life)
IELTS,GMAT,visa,USA,留学,签证,申请,美国,英国,加拿大,欧洲Each generation(既然是each,就要突出each的特点。你第二个论点是可以的。依此类推,说我们这代可以说我们特别会享受。说上上上不知多少代的那代,你可以说受封建思想影响太深,看不起外国人(蛮夷!)。或者说我们的下一代,什么都挑剔,连尿布都要名牌。古代罗马人喜欢穿丝绸,现代人喜欢穿麻布衣服,并美其名曰为复古。不要说optimistic或者mature啊,这些差异是共性的) has its own characteristics that are superior(想表达什么意思?), and if parents and children can communicate more and learn from each other, tomorrow will be better.
批改方案二:
Have you ever argued with your parents about some stuff, such as clothing? Have you ever been deeply moved by their cherishment of life? Have you ever exchanged your future plans with your parents? If you do, then you will find that your generation is quite different from your parents' in many ways.
The younger generation is generally more open-minded. Out of curiosity, they are ready to try new things. While older people tend to stick to the original ones. Then it is not hard to understand why we usually love pop music, but our parents admire classical ones.
个人觉得pop music基本上也从父辈那个时代开始,做例子所以不是很恰当。
Besides what is stated above, a major difference lies in the attitudes towards life. Due to the environment through (in) which they grow up, our parents have experienced dozens of difficulties, such as hunger, lack of education. Thus they cherish the life now they have. They generally know how to love people and to share with others. On the other hand, our generation is empowered with(“to give someone power or authority”, I think “is granted with” is better ) the abundance of materials and is relatively more selfish. Do you still remember your birthday presents that your parents carefully picked up for you? But do you still remember your father or mother(father or mother’s) birthday? It is quite necessary for us to learn from them at this point. liuxuepaper.com
The third difference is about the view of future. We are always optimistic about our future and tending to view it as bright as the sun. We are always filled with hope and excitement when talking about tomorrow. Our parents differ at this point. They had a glorious past behind them, and they always live as planned. Talking about tomorrow, they are always calm and confident.liuxuepaper.com