美国GRE写作argument全部官方范文分析(3)(3)

　　Reader Comment on 6

　　This outstanding response demonstrates the writer's insightful analytical skills.

　　The introduction, which notes that adopting the prompt's fallacious reasoning could "...inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear," is followed by a comprehensive examination of each of the argument's root flaws. Specifically, the writer exposes several points that undermine the argument:

　　*that preventive and protective gear are not the same

　　*that skaters who wear gear may be less prone to accidents because they are, by nature, more responsible and cautious

　　*that the statistics do not differentiate by the severity of the injuries

　　*that gear may not need to be high-quality to be beneficial

　　The discussion is smoothly and logically organized, and each point is thoroughly and cogently developed. In addition, the writing is succinct, economical and error-free. Sentences are varied and complex, and diction is expressive and precise.

　　In sum, this essay exemplifies the very top of the "6" range described in the scoring guide. If the writer had been less eloquent or provided fewer reasons to refute the argument, the essay could still have been scored "6."

　　小总结：　　(1)分析原题目中可取之处;指出原文中不足之处;推出论据中的潜在后果。(这里的第一点展开证明，这样虽然没有直接复述题目，但是这三点说完后整个框架就很清楚了

　　(2)正文中第一段质疑我认为的核心假设错误(从原题目中的可取之处中寻找，要把它唯一一点正确的东西也给质疑了)，后三段按原文逻辑顺序攻击三点，如本文中人的本质==〉人受的伤的差别==〉为防受伤，买质量好的就有用?可以看出，这三点是与原文中三段论式论证环环相扣的。这就是前面第一部分讲解awintro中提到的analytical writing的具体应用。

　　(3)逻辑方面的论证方法为：寻找并质疑隐含假设，列举它因，加条件(常识性条件，或者限定性条件)后讨论，提出建议。

　　(4)在语言方面的论证手法有：分情况讨论，举反例推缪。

　　(5)最后的时候还是要首先肯定原文的可取之处如初衷好啊，然后指出需要思考的更加完善才行。要是思考的不完善会有什么后果。(范文最后一段基本属于扯淡)

　　(责任编辑 陈奕璇)