文章细节:liuxuepaper.com 发表时间:2011-06-28
As we know, “volunteer” is a kind of “work” that you offer to do it, and also, it is for free.
From schools to shops, from Olympics to world wars, volunteers are everywhere. And to Chinese people, last year is an impresive(impressive) year because of volunteers. In May 12 earthquake and the 2008 Beijing Olympic Gams, volunteers played a really important role. They touched every Chinese's heart, including me.
I don't usually have chances to do volunteer's work, but I have some creative ideas about it. In my opinion, helping others is a kind of volunteer and it is important to our lives. We can't become a volunteer in poor rural area, but we can help classmates sowe(solve) a math problem; we can't join the Olympics, but we can take part in a sports meeting in school and develope the spirit of “higher, faster, stronger” in other ways; we can't go to Wenchuan, but we can send our “gifts” there. In fact, we are volunteering everyday and everywhere, but we ignore it sometimes.
Volunteer is not a simple matter about yourself, it also has great influence to your life, your family, even the world. If there are not volunteers any more, everyone is selfish and vain, the world will be a lonely place. Volunteer can bring people warm and kind feelings and help improve your personality. When you are volunteering, you'll find the beauty of the world and life and you really feel and touch some hard experience, itable to lead you to treat your family, your life, your fridends(friends) more previously. My dad once told me a story: at the time of Beijing Olympic Games one year's flashback, some volunteers said that time was really a hard but valuable memory. Sometimes, they had to stand, it was not permitted to argue with tourists; sometimes, they even wanted to cry, but smiles had to be on theirs faces all the time. Volunteer was not an easy job, but they said that they didn't regret at all —— they responded to China, they won reputation for our nation!
So, volunteer is worth joining and valuing, though it is hard, you have gained the best award —— a kind heart.
Start your volunteer life now!
专家建议:
在不跑题前提下,内容虽然重要,但关键是语言的包装,建议多看些优秀范文,和英文原著,增加语感,这样文章会更传神。
专家点评:
文章思路清晰,叙述条理清楚,但句子之间的衔接做得不够,要多用连接词。此外,应多掌握一些词语的同义词,这样避免重复。在句式变换方便也要多下些功夫。
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