作文-地带点评:语言功底好的人有什么特点?!从句吗?不是.而是非谓语动词和从句的结合.
Furthermore,on the whole, the high fuel price of energy resources can not eliminate thepollution, because there, whether more or less, has still been pollution (whether more or less 虽然是插入语,但是感觉这句这样写有点不自然,而且后面是用完成时似乎也不对.试改为: there is stillmore or less pollution. ) . And, the radical approach to the environmentalproblems lies with the environmental awareness of producers. With the broadawareness about the importance of sustainable development, producers are willingto develop renewable energy resources, instead of being compelled to carry outthe environmental policy established by the government, which is more effectivebut more difficult to reach. ( 长句,大家欣赏一下吧 )
So, the environmental problemscan be solved by the rise in price of fuel partially, but not radically. Andthen, better to take advantage to all the price mechanism, administration andthe public's knowledge, than to make use of only one of them. ( 348words)
作文-地带点评:最后一段是败笔,或者说明显写的没前面几段好!
试改为: Therefore, raising fuel price can, tosome extent, tackle the environmental problems but is far from thoroughly andthe combination of price mechanism, administration and public knowledge is muchbetter than make use of merely one of them.
总评:我想也不用多说了,8分.

liuxuepaper.com