同是父母心(Parents and Kids)

In the spring of 1995, I spoke about China to a group of over eighty American second grade students in the U.S. The children were curious about so many things: the Great Wall, pandas, and martial arts. More than any other subject, however, these young people were interested in the relationship between Chinese children and their parents.

　　As I described how Chinese parents raise their children, drawing on the experiences of my friends and their kids, it occurred to me that parents in the United States and China differ markedly in their approach to parenting.

　　In the United States, parents tend to encourage their children to develop their potential to the fullest extent --- in a word, to dream. Fathers and mothers frequently instill in their children both ambition and, as importantly, the confidence necessary to work toward their goals.

　　American parents tend to be very positive: they concentrate on what their kids can do, not what they can't. As a result, millions of American boys and girls grow up hoping to become actors and athletes, diplomats and doctors; many even want to become president.

　　American parents often encourage their children to become involved in extracurricular activities of all types at school, such as student government, sports and music. They believe that only through involvement in these activities can their children become mature young adults.

　　Schoolwork is important, to be sure. But parents realize that the social skills their children learn from natural interaction with their peers in non-scholastic settings more closely approximate the skills they will need in the "real world". What's more important in the office place: a sound knowledge of physics or the ability to communicate effectively?

　　As a rule, Chinese parents do not foster the same kind of ambition and confidence Americans instill in their children, nor do they encourage the same level of participation in extracurricular activities. Children are typically admonished to study hard and pass exams. Too often, time away from schoolbooks is seen as time wasted.

　　This approach has created so much pressure for Chinese children that leaders in Chinese educational circles have issued calls for less homework at the lower grade levels. Only healthy kids can become healthy adults.

　　More and more, Chinese parents recognize this. I am very confident about China's future.

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