If someone is said to have "yin si," meddlers will be attracted to pry into his or her affairs. So people always state that they don't have "yin si."
On the contrary, Americans often declare their intention to protect their privacy. Their understanding of privacy is that others have no right to pry into things which belong to themselves alone and have nothing to do with others.
One who is too nosy and who spreads rumors is said to violate the right to privacy.
In the evening, Sonia and I went to a bar for dinner. In China, when people mention bars, debauchery usually comes to mind. But here, the bar was a quiet and tastefully laid out place.
People spoke quite softly, afraid of interrupting their neighbors, and sat face to face as they drank, sometimes three or five persons sitting together.
This sort of atmosphere was totally different from my preconception, so I wanted to take a picture. Sonia stopped me: "Don't you see these people are pouring out their hearts? Maybe they are colleagues, friends, and secret lovers.
They came here looking for a peaceful place free from interruption by others. They wouldn't want to leave any trace of their having come here. So taking their pictures would be a serious violation of their right to privacy."
Is there privacy between husband and wife? One of Sonia's friends married a talented Chinese man, but recently she became so angry that she wanted a divorce.
The reason was that her husband had opened one of her letters and looked through her purse. The husband didn't realize that this is not tolerated in the U.S.
He thought being a couple was like being one person; why couldn't he see the letter or the contents of the purse? Truly, everyone, even those living as a couple, needs room - not only in three-dimensional space, but in the heart.
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