Tom is an American boy,now he is in China because his parents like China very much.

    Today is Sunday,it's sunny and warm.Tom gets up early and feels great.He goes out for exercising and enjoys the sunshine.After exercising,Tom gets back home to do his homework.In the afternoon,Tom helps his mother with housework when he finishes his homework.A few hours later,the night is coming,Tom begins to watch TV for 2 hours.

    "What a wonderful day!"said Tom,then he goes bed at 9 o'clock.

评 分94分

级 别优秀

批 改1.Tom gets up early and feels great.中的great改成well,较合适一些。

2.Tom begins to watch TV for 2 hours. 改成Tom begins to watch TV and often watches TV for 2 hours.

3.第一段后面可以加上如下句子：He likes his school life,but he likes his Sunday better.这样与第二段的衔接就比较紧密。

4.Today is Sunday,it's sunny and warm.根据后文的时态，如果使用这两句的话，后面应该用一般过去时态，因此可以改成On Sundays.这类文章往往使用一般现在时态，文章中应该使用表示频率的时间。

参考例句(文)1.--How are you feeling taday?---I'm feeling very well.

2.On Saturday, we often go to the zoo and watch the animals.

3.I watch TV for three hours every day.

4.I often play coputer games when I finish my homework.
点 评 习作语言比较流畅，意思表达十分清楚，能够较准确的使用一般现在时态，描述某人一天的活动。
给 分 理 由 习作总体来讲语意表达清楚，能够用学过的语法知识，构思文章。有较少的语法错误。建议作者阅读一些优秀的学生作文，学习他们在段落之间如何紧密衔接方面的技巧，再用到自己的习作中，我相信你一定可以写出更好的文章来。扣6分
批改满意度100%