This is my bedroom.It's small but neat.

    This is my small bed,a quilt is on it.The quilt is black and white.My dresser is next to my bed,an alarm clock is on it.Two pictures are on the wall,over the dresser and the bed.This is my book self,lots of books are in it.Look at this computer!It's mine,and the computer is very nice.Some books are next to it.Where's my backpack?Do you know?It's on the door.Two keys are on it,too.

    I love my bedroom very much.

评 分97分

级别 优秀

批 改 1. 文中Where's my backpack? Do you know? It's on the door. Two keys are on it, too. 句意有点乱，让人读不明白；建议改成Where's my backpack，do you know ? Look！It's on the door，and my two keys are on it ，too.“你知道我的背包在哪里吗？瞧，他挂在门上，并且我的2把钥匙也在门上呢？“

2.其他没有错误。
参考例句(文)1.This is my bedroom. It's small but neat . 尤其这一句简洁明快。卧室虽小但“整洁; 有条理；小巧优雅的。”neat 一词应用绝妙！

2.Two pictures are on the wall, over the dresser and the bed. “over”一词使用准确。
点 评 小作者详细介绍了自己卧室以及里面的物品摆放，准确运用了下列方为介词in, on ,under ,over ,next to等。全文思路清晰，语言通顺，错误很少，应是一篇优秀习作。
给 分 理 由 该习作有一气呵成的感觉；结构合理，语言清晰条理，除了文中Where's my backpack? Do you know? It's on the door. Two keys are on it, too. 句意有点乱，让人读后产生误解外，无其他错误。该处应扣除3，故给出97。