习作原文

The first bicycle in the world was invented by french in 1790.It is very simple. There are no chain,pedal and handlebar.Cyclists pedal to floor by their foot which are slowly and uncomfortable.People spend about a centry can change bicycle into today shape. A English made the first morden bicycle in 1888. Therefrom,bicycle is a party of the world we live in today.In the 1960s, western world call China is "The kingdom of bicycles". Whether in the cities or in the countryside. Bicycle is the main transportation.

There are all bicycles on the road in routine jobs in the city. But this had been in history.Now bicycle was gradually replaced the car. The air more and more bad in the city. Don't know how China can again become the kingdom of bicycles.

批 改 老 师 maotouying 评 分 85分 级 别 优秀 批 改

1.It is very simple. 这句话改The former bicycle is very simple.

2.People spend about a centry can change bicycle into today shape.本句话里面同时出现了两个谓语动词。本句话改为People spend about a centry to change bicycle into today's shape.

3.A English made the first morden bicycle in 1888. A English 改为An English man .

4.In the 1960s, western world call China is "The kingdom of bicycles". Is 去掉，call sb sth。

5.Whether in the cities or in the countryside. Bicycle is the main transportation.这两句话应该合并成一句话，否则，前面的那句就是个半截句子。

6.There are all bicycles on the road in routine jobs in the city.这句话可以去掉。

7.But this had been in history. In去掉，这句话的意思是这件事已经成为历史，而不是在历史里。

8.Now bicycle was gradually replaced the car.此处为被动语态，replaced the car.改为replaced by car.

9.The air more and more bad in the city. 本句话缺少系动词，改为The air become more and more bad in the city.

10.Don't know how China can again become the kingdom of bicycles.中国到现在仍然是自行车的王国啊，怎么会不知道什么时候能再次成为自行车王国啊。并且这句话表达上也有些问题，没有主语，单纯从句子上来说，本句话应该改为I Don't know when China can become the kingdom of bicycles again.

参考例句(文)

1.The former bicycle is very simple.

2.People spend about a centry to change bicycle into today's shape.

3.Whether in the cities or in the countryside,bicycle is the main transportation.

4.Now bicycle was gradually replaced by car.

5.The air become more and more bad in the city.

6.I Don't know when China can become the kingdom of bicycles again.

点 评

本篇文章在内容上存在的问题比较多，批改处已经指出。另外，还有一个问题就是通篇的时态运用，因为内容上是记叙文，是在讲述自行车的事情，通篇都可以采用过去时态。作者在运用句子时，过去式和现在式交叉运用，在批改处我没有将所有的时态一一改正，希望作者在今后写作时注意文章表达的一个大的时态环境。

给 分 理 由

文章批改过程中发现语法、句法错误共计10处，各扣1分，共计10分；

文章大的环境时态运用不一致，扣分会比较多，此处扣5分。