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Making friends英语作文

时间:2010-09-03来源:英语作文投稿栏目:网友投稿英语作文作者:yuuted 英语作文收藏:收藏本文
习作原文 Do you have many friends?Making friends is a skill like most skills.It improves with practice.If you want to meet people and make friends with them, you must be willing to take some action .You won,t make friends staying at home alone .Join a club or
习作原文

Do you have many friends?Making friends is a skill like most skills.It improves with practice.If you want to meet people and make friends with them, you must be willing to take some action .You won,t make friends staying at home alone .Join a club or a group .Taking with those who like the same things as you di is much easier.

Many people are nervous when talking to new people ,so you should try to act self-confident ,you should act more confident when you talking to new people , then you will feel more comfortable.

Please remember don't wait for the other person to start a conversation,you should take more action.



批 改 老 师 maotouying 评 分 97分 级 别 优秀 批 改

1.You won,t make friends staying at home alone . won't改为can't更好,并且全文都是采用一般现在时,时态表述上也更一致。

2.Join a club or a group .本句话可以更完善一下,请参考例句:Joing a club or a group is a very good way.

3.Taking with those who like the same things as you di is much easier. di可能是作者书写错误造成的,di改成do.

4.Many people are nervous when talking to new people ,so you should try to act self-confident ,you should act more confident when you talking to new people , then you will feel more comfortable.

本段话是一个长句子,前面用many people,后面都用you,在人称表述上不一致,是一句典型的中国人说话方式,鉴于全文都是采用第二人称表述方式,前面改为:Maybe you are nervous when...

参考例句(文)

1.You can,t make friends staying at home alone .

2.Maybe you are nervous when talking to new people ,so you should try to act self-confident ,you should act more confident when you talking to new people , then you will feel more comfortable.

点 评

本文表达流畅,内容丰富,作者在进行表达时,语法错误很少,是一篇高质量的文章。文中的一些小错误,请作者在写作时注意,避免不难。一个高一的学生有这样的表达能力,是很难得的,请再接再厉!

给 分 理 由

批改第1处:时态运用欠佳,扣1分;

批改第2处:本处可以不做扣分处理;

批改第3处:书写错误,扣1分;

批改第4处:人称运用不一致,扣2分。

最后得分97分。

批改满意度 100%liuxuepaper.com
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