从上下文的完整性上，我们在句意上稍作了一些改动和增补，让意义更加清晰，更加接近实际生活。对“有档次的习作”有理想化要求的倾向。不过这只是一种尝试，或者说研讨吧，期待着英语教师的“争鸣”。希望老师们下载批阅后的短文,引导学生体会"优秀英语书面表达"的特点.下面是批阅后的作文，改动处用蓝色字体标出：

 
Hello, I'm Michael Guo. I’ll tell you about my hometown Nanjing. Nanjing is the capital city of Jiangsu Province with a long history.

 
There are lots of interesting places for tourists or travel lovers. I recommend that Xuanwu Lake is the first place for you. It is in the northeast of Nanjing City. You can take a boat trip on the beautiful lake in the park. It will be very comfortable and enjoyable. The Purple Mountain (or Zongshan) is another place that is worth visiting. You can breathe fresh air in the forest around the hilly place. It's also a good place to go climbing. At the top of the Purple Mountain, you can see the view of the whole city  far down below. If you are an animal lover, Hongshan Zoo is a good choice. There are different kinds of animals in the zoo's different spacious environments.……