Man：And why should you be the Dartmouth usher?

　　Dan：Well I've given this a lot of thought and I think I can answer your question in three parts.And I'd like to start

　　With the third part first if it's cool unless that would be confusing. In which case, I can start at the beginning.The Dartmouth "principles of community" highlight integrity,responsibility and consideration.Well, from St.Jude's,I've learned integrity.From being an older brother,I have learned responsibility and from my parents,who have sacrificed everything to send me to this school, I've learned consideration.It really comes down to one thing：Dartmouth is my dream and I've never asked Dartmouth but...I think it's been dreaming of me.That-that was a joke or an attempt at one.Next question…

　　Man：You are the ideal Dartmouth candidate.

　　Dan：Thank you, sir.

　　Nate：And it would be an honor to attend Dartmouth.I've grown up hearing all about it from my father. I'm just not sure it's my first choice and if there's only one usher position available,I'm sure there's someone who wants it more than me.

　　Chuck：Why should I be chosen to be an usher? I'm Chuck Bass.

　　**********

　　Mr.Tedrow：Excuse me.

　　Nate：Hey. You get the one you wanted?

　　Dan：Uh...No. No. Actually you did, which makes total sense because I'm second in our class and you're somewhere around…What, I don't know, last?

　　Nate：No hard feelings, huh?

　　Dan：Why should there be? I mean, how many libraries has your Dad had to endow to get you this spot? You've earned it.

　　Nate：Look man, you don't know anything about my family.

　　Dan：I'm sorry.You're right. You're right. I'm sure J.L.Hall will be very impressed with your passion for the Dartmouth experience.

　　Nate：Who the hell is J.L.Hall?

　　Dan：He's the Ivy rep. You might want to pick up his book if you want anything to talk about."The Petting Zoo". That's the name

　　of his book.

　　Serena：Whoa. Angry guy, huh?

　　Dan：Short fuse. I'm trying to work on that.

　　Serena：Well, let me know how that goes for you.

　　Dan：Yeah, I'll keep you posted.

　　Serena：It's a tough week.

　　Dan：Not for me, apparently.

　　Serena：Oh, you got an usher position?

　　Dan：No, I didn't. In an ironic though. Not totally unexpected twist,Nate got the one I wanted.

　　Serena：I'm sorry.

　　Dan：Yeah well, I guess that's life when you're not a legacy.

　　Serena：Well hey, just 'cause you're not an usher doesn't mean you're not gonna get into an Ivy.

　　Dan：Yeah? Where'd your parents go to school?

　　Serena：Harvard and Brown.

　　Dan：That's-that's all I'm saying.

　　**********

　　Kati：I can't believe Serena did this.

　　Isabel：Yeah, such a cheap shot.

　　Blair：Finally.

　　Chuck：Hello to you, too. I heard about the field hockey throw down. All those mouth guards and short skirts, I hope somebody filmed it.[page]分页标题[/page]

　　Blair：(scoffs) You're heinous.

　　Chuck：Which is probably why you called.

　　Blair：You know me well.

　　Chuck：Women like to pretend they're complicated. I know better.

　　Blair：My leg's numb now. How about a heating pad?

　　Kati：Sure.

　　Isabel：Okay.

　　Blair：Serena came home for a reason.

　　Chuck：One can only guess.

　　Blair：I'm done guessing.I want answers and no one likes to be on the ground floor of a scandal like Chuck Bass.

　　Chuck：I am a bitch when I wanna be.

　　Blair：Opportunity to cause some trouble, uncover a secret?

　　Chuck：Take "yes" for an answer. Let's turn back to school.I left something important behind.

　　**********

　　Rufus：Oh Danny boy, how was your day?

　　Jenny：He's about to hype dinner.

　　Rufus：'Cause no matter how good it was.It's about to get a lot better. I've outdone myself with the Bolognese.

　　Dan：(muffled) Sorry about the melodramatic entrance.

　　Rufus：You didn't get it?

　　Dan：No, I didn't get it.

　　Rufus：And that I do not get.

　　Dan：They...they gave it to Nate (muffled) Archibald! Oh! Last year, I believe he had an original thought. It died of loneliness.I'm sorry.

　　Rufus：You're sorry?

　　Dan：Yeah, I know how much you and mom sacrificed. The whole reason you send us to a school like this is so we can go to a college of our choice. What if that's all for nothing?

　　Rufus：It's not, okay? It's not. So you don't get to be the usher of some whatever party.

　　Dan：Dad, can I just stew alone for a while?

　　Jenny：We're Humphreys, Dad. Not exactly royalty uptown.

　　Rufus：Are you okay with that?

　　Jenny：No. But I'm used to it.

　　**********

　　Chuck：This is way too good.

　　Blair：Mom, how's paris?

　　Chuck：You're not going to believe where I found our little princess.

　　Blair：Really?

　　**********

　　Chuck：Admit it. Even for me, this was good.

　　Blair：If you weren't such a perv, I'm sure the C.I.A would hire you in a second.

　　Chuck：Defending my country. There's a future I never imagined.

　　Blair：With good reason. What is she doing there?

　　Chuck：Well, what's anyone doing there? It's a facility for the disturbed or addicted.

　　Blair：You must have your own wing.

　　Chuck：You don't get nearly enough credit for your wit. So the question is, what do you do now?

　　Blair：Well, I was thinking...total social destruction.

　　Chuck：And here I thought you were getting soft.So this is your bed, huh?

　　Blair：Leaving now.

　　Chuck：You can repay me another time.

　　**********

　　Serena：I've been in these sessions every day for the last week but nothing is going to change unless she stops hiding him here and lets him have his life back.

　　Lily：This is not called hiding Serena. It's called recovery.[page]分页标题[/page]

　　Serena：Telling everyone he's staying with aunt Carol in Miami?

　　Lily：He's not ready.

　　Serena：He's not or you're not?

　　Woman：Okay, let's take a deep breath.It's good to see honest conversation.

　　Serena：What does she know about honesty?

　　Lily：Serena.

　　Woman：But I really think a decision like this includes Eric as well.

　　Eric：Oh, you mean I have a say in this? Wow. Thanks.

　　Lily：Eric, of course. We're here for you.

　　Serena：Look, if you're ready to leave, you tell us, okay? No matter what Mom says.

　　Eric：I would really like to get out of here...

　　Lily：Oh, no.

　　Eric：But maybe I'm not ready yet.

　　Serena：Hey, what about for a few hours? You can be my date to the Ivy week party tonight.

　　Lily：Serena, that party is an important event for you.

　　Serena：Well, he'll be around people he knows. It'll be fun comfortable.

　　Eric：Actually that sounds great.

　　Woman：Well, there we go. Compromise. That wasn't so hard, was it?

　　Lily：You know what? I have to go. Help them set up for tonight at the school. It's my job as both Parent Committee Chair and responsible mother.

　　Serena：It'll be great, okay?

　　**********

　　Rufus：Hi. How are you?

　　Woman：Good.

　　Rufus：Rufus Humphrey.

　　Woman：Mm-hmm.

　　Rufus：My kid Dan goes to St.Jude's and he really should have been selected as Dartmouth's usher. Maybe there was a mix-up. Some kind of a glitch in the system? I'd like to believe that. Because I like to believe the best in people.

　　Woman：I'm sorry, Mr. Humphrey.The usher positions have been filled. There's nothing we can do.

　　Rufus：Uh, is there anything else? Any other positions?

　　Woman：Uh, you'll have to discuss this with our committee chairwoman.

　　Rufus：Sure, perfect. I'd love to. Where can I find her?

　　Woman：I'm not sure. She must be running late.I…Oh, there she is now.

　　Rufus：Why am I not surprised?

　　Woman：Lucky for you, she seems to be in a good mood.

　　Rufus：Until she sees me.

　　Lily：Rufus.

　　Rufus：Told ya.

　　Woman：Excuse me.

　　Rufus：You got a minute, lil?

　　Lily：Not for you.

　　**********

　　Rufus：You're in.

　　Dan：What?

　　Rufus：The Ivy week party tonight. Your name will be on the program and everything.

　　Dan：You got me the Dartmouth spot?

　　Jenny：I knew you could do it, Dad.

　　Rufus：No, you didn't and no I didn't. How do you feel about the refreshment committee?

　　Dan：Well, there is-there is no refreshment committee.

　　Rufus：Not until now.

　　Jenny：Oh, god.

　　Rufus：What? Everybody gets thirsty. It's really a position of power.

　　Dan：How did you secure me this prominent and simultaneously embarrassing position?

　　Rufus：By offering my own services[page]分页标题[/page]

　　Dan：Serving snacks?

　　Rufus：I'm the head of the entertainment committee.

　　Dan：Another committee that didn't exist until you left the house today.

　　Jenny：Way to go Dad. Wait. So who's the entertainment?

　　Rufus：Uh, since it was such short notice, the only person I could get was myself.

　　Dan：Kind of a staid affair for Early '90s postpunk math rock. Don't you think?

　　Rufus：I'm bringing a couple of the guys. It'll be Rufus unplugged.

　　Jenny：Need a roadie?

　　Rufus：Thanks sweetie

　　Dan：Should I call Mom and we can just make this a full-fledged Humphrey affair?

　　Rufus：Look, I did the best I could. At least you get to officially be a part of this thing. You can talk to that author you love.Ask him anything you want.

　　Dan：Like his, preference for soft drinks?

　　**********

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