小学生英语作文选
2010-08-07 13:16:47   来源：少儿英语学习   评论：0 点击：

【学生习作】
　　Sandy is a bit heavy. She likes playing computer games. She plays it about ① one or two times a day. She enjoys watching TV, ②also. Sometimes she watches TV for four or five hours in the evening, ③and she often goes to bed late. She looks ④not healthy. She hates playing sports. She likes to eat dessert and ⑤fishes. She eats them every day. She hardly ever eats fruit or drinks milk, but she loves junk food. She drinks cola and lemonade every day.
　　【老师点评】本文能根据表格中的要点展开,内容充实,合理使用了频度副词,若能稍加留意一些词汇的用法,将会有长足的进步。
　　①在表达次数时,一次用once,两次用twice,三次或三次以上用times(次),故one or two times要改为once or twice。
　　②also意为“也”,它位于句中,一般不在句末,在肯定句的句末要用too。故本句可以改为“She also enjoys watching TV”或“She enjoys watching TV, too”。
　　③由于两句之间用了逗号,and表达的是并列关系,本句是表示前一句动作的结果,是因果关系,故应把and改为so。
　　④本句写成了中国式英语,look是系动词,后应接形容词。当表达不健康时,可以在healthy前加否定前缀un。故原句可以改为“She looks unhealthy”。
　　⑤fish作“鱼肉”讲时是不可数名词,作“鱼”讲时是可数名词,只是单复数一样,fishes表达的意思是“不同种类的鱼”。故本题fishes要改为fish。
　　【习作题目二】
　　假如你是Alicia,你的朋友Maria邀请你本周内和她一起去爬山,但周一到周五你都有事情,你的妈妈刚刚生病住院了,本周末还要照顾妈妈。请你给Maria写一封e-mail,说明你不能去爬山了,并陈述一下具体的原因。70—80词左右。
　　
　　【学生习作】
　　Hi Maria,
　　Thank you for your invitation. I’m sorry I can’t go climbing with you. I ①real have a busy week. From Monday to Friday I have to study at school. I have to play my piano after school. So I don’t have any time to do ②else something. My mother is ill ③in the hospital. ④On weekends I’ll take care of my ⑤ill mother. Could I hear from you soon? Give my best wishes to your family.
　　Alicia
　　【老师点评】小作者能够全面根据所给的信息,安排合理,语句流畅,结构严谨,符合电子邮件的写作要求,但在词汇用法上有些错误,希望以后多多练笔。
　　①real是形容词,其副词 really修饰动词或形容词,放在形容词或动词前面。故real要改为really。
　　②else 意为“别的、其它的”,修饰不定代词要后置。故else something要改为something else。
　　③in the hospital指“在医院里”,in hospital指“生病住院”。故in the hospital要改为in hospital。
　　④on weekends意为“在周末(周六和周日)”,是泛指每个周末。on the weekend 意为“这个或那个周末”,指说话双方都明白的、特定的那个周末。故on weekends要改为on the weekend。
　　⑤ill作“生病的”讲时只作表语,不作定语。 sick作“生病的”讲时,既可作表语,也可作定语。 故ill要改为sick。