While Bobby declined to water down his dressing, he says of his grandfather that 'I follow in his footsteps' in other ways, saving paper clips and rubber bands. And when Scott recently trimmed the family budget, he thought he saw an echo of his late father in Bobby, in the way he calmly accepted the loss of his oft-used gym membership.

　　Even when you think your children aren't listening to your stories, Dr. Fivush says, they probably are. Thomas Pontes thought his children, 12, 14 and 16, shrugged off tales of his grandfather, an immigrant farmhand who worked his way up from living in a barn to owning a home. To Mr. Pontes, of Providence, R.I., the story shows 'the kind of optimism you need to pick yourself up from a field somewhere tending cattle' to cross the Atlantic, fueled solely by hope.

　　But when I asked his daughter Katie, 16, about the stories, she not only remembered them, but said they've 'helped me become more appreciative of my life and how easy things are for me.' Even if kids don't seem to appreciate family stories, she says, in time they'll 'realize just how important they are.'

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