Times like this—jobs lost, stock prices tanking and the value of your house somewhere south of your purchase price—lead to problems in relationships. Couples who once had the money to paper over the fissures in their personal lives suddenly feel poorer, and today find themselves struggling with the stresses that routinely ride shotgun with a gimpy economy.

　　What can help these relationships is something as simple as communication. Yes, I know; that seems a Pollyannaish prescription for differences you swear are irreconcilable. And, yes, sometimes a divorce really is the answer. But too many a relationship crumbles simply because couples give up. And they often give up because they don't know how to talk about the money frustrations that are impacting their lives at the moment.

　　That's the core of my new book, 'Financially Ever After: The Couple's Guide To Managing Money.' The main idea is that couples who successfully conquer life's financial tremors are those who take the time to understand the way money flows through their life, and who learn how best to communicate about their finances. After all, it's only from the talking and listening that you both can find the middle ground you can each live with.

　　Of course, it can be especially difficult when you don't know what to say or how to say it or, more fundamentally, how to even begin that conversation. I can help with the last piece, how to begin: by finding the most productive way that you and your partner communicate.

　　For some, that's a face-to-face meeting over dinner in a nice restaurant, where you're forced to keep your voices contained. For others, it's a phone conversation so that you don't see the facial expressions and body language that can fuel a heated exchange. (Just agree not to yell at one another on the phone, or agree beforehand that if the decibels begin to rise you'll both hang up, cool down and begin again in 30 minutes or so).

　　And for another group, email might be the best option, since the written word allows each of you to make your case uninterrupted by your partner's comment, without the pressure of having to fashion an immediate reply.

　　My wife and I have been together in some fashion since 1984 and have been married since 1992. It took me the better part of a decade to begin talking to her about our finances, voicing my concerns and wants and needs, and listening to hers. Now, it's as routine as breathing. (I even wrote a weekly column, 'Love & Money,' about our financial relationship.)

　　In the beginning, I would email her when we had money concerns; I'm a writer, after all, so it was far easier for me. From our email correspondence, I came to learn a great deal about how she processes financial information, and she began to see how I think and what I worry about when it comes to money. That, in turn, began to make email unnecessary. We still disagree on occasion about money; every couple does. But we've gotten to a point where our understanding of each other is so complete that we're now able to just bring up a topic at any given moment and deal with it.liuxuepaper.com