* 作文-地带点评:二段写作直接套入备好的模版,由两个观点句和一个解释句来完成。被动,强调倒转,现在分词的使用以及形式主语要在行文中大量使用,要尽可能多的词汇的亮点。二段是支持年轻人不能在政府中担任要职的段落,第一个观点句不难构思–年轻人没有经验,可能会犯错误,进而威胁国民利益,第二个观点句可以用反相思维,对比论证,比之年轻人,年纪大的官员在政策制定,危机处理和繁荣经济方面的优势更加明显。
* 二段的精彩表达有:
1. undertake 承担
2. ranging from A to B 从— 到—
3. jeopardize 危及到
4. be put at risk 处于危险
5. superiorities 优势
6. boom the economy 繁荣经济
7. commit blunder 犯大错
Nevertheless, there are still many opposite arguments maintaining that under no circumstances should we turn a blind eye to the indispensable role younger governmental officials could play. Initially, the multiplication of youthful officials or leaders in the governments will inject new life into the governments, for youngsters, in most cases, have creative mode of thinking, vigorous energies and enterprising spirit. Besides, how can a nation become prosperous and powerful if its younger generation fail to be given the opportunities to learn and grow.(83)
* 三段作文-地带点评:三段是要论证支持年轻人可以在政府中担任要职,第一个论据可以提出年轻人的优势,创造性思维,无穷活力,以及进取精神(其实这些语料是来自另外一篇作文—-支持老人55岁退休)第二个论据可以用反问句强调国家要强大和繁荣就要给年轻人学习和成长的机会。
* 三段亮点表达:
1. inject new life into 注入新的活力
2. creative mode of thinking 创造性思维
3. enterprising spirit 进取精神
4. vigorous 充满活力的
In a nutshell, both sides make sense to some extent, however, to my way of thinking, it is not impractical to encourage younger people to embark on some crucial governments works, because they own infinite potentials and will benefit the nation in the long run. My suggestion is that senior officials should provide more guidance and assistance.(57)
* 尾段:继续套入备好的句式,明确提出支持年轻人在政府中担任要职,因为年轻人潜力无限,这样做长远讲是有利国家的。考虑到与自己不同观点的合理性,尾句提出建议,年轻人的工作还需有资历的老人的指导和帮助。
* 全文作文地带点评:由于该话题不想电视利弊,广告利弊,环保的原因和解决这样观点清晰,所以,同学们在现场写作的时候还是会面临思维短路,词汇贫乏,硬套模版的困境。实际上,这篇文章的句式,亮点词汇在我的预备写作和强化写作讲义中都有出现,建议大家还是勤写多练。
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作文地带友情提示本文转载自:新东方