I hate that jerk Bruce more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world.

Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader wannabe jerk. If there was any part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps!!!

And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

(Which I'm sure you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from, you jerk!)

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.

...Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Saturday

Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating, whining voice. It made me want to smash the machine!!

However, I lack the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up watching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

Sunday

I'm having the church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over.

I will also pray that next year my husband (the JERK) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a hysterectomy.