高三英语作文专项训练教案
书面表达类型：__________  使用时间：__________ 主备课人：作文地带
导学过程：
导入：今天我们上写作课(have a writing lesson)，我们将以这次一模反馈考试书面表达为例，来进一步强化书面表达的写作步骤和写作技巧。（We will improve our writing skills with the writing steps）
大家知道书面表达写作步骤是：审→列→造→连→改→抄 +查
既：审题→列纲→造句→连句→修改→抄写+复查； 正所谓书面表达“实战”6＋1
6+1其中第一步是---审，即审题。
Step 1审题：信息来源---文字提示和图画。
审题四确定：（这次书面表达的）
①体裁格式：记叙文格式，并附带议论
（书面表达四大体裁：应用文（书信、通知、日记、发言稿）、记叙文、说明文和议论文。）
②题材内容：叙述一次误诊，并对此发表看法
③中心人称：第三人称  
④主体时态：一般过去时，议论部分用一般现在时
Step2列纲：列要点提纲
①.在审题的基础上确定要点。
②.注意：要点齐全，但不能随意发挥。
这记叙文应根据时间线索（先全面看图，然后每幅图逐一列要点）
Picture 1：体检后，史密斯先生拿到诊断书，说/得知自己患了癌症。
Picture 2：①得知这个消息，感到很难过
②回到家，妻子和女儿正等着/要他吃晚饭。他什么也不想吃，于是？。
Picture 3：过了些时间，他接到医生的电话，说犯了一个错误，误诊。
Picture 4：听到这消息，史密斯先生高兴地跳起来。妻子和女儿非常惊讶。
Opinion / Conclusion ：
①from the doctor’s side:
 仔细工作，努力不犯错误；否则，给人带来痛苦。小错误导致大损失等。
②from the patient’s side:
 碰到不幸和困难时, 不应该消沉灰心。应该勇敢面对， 并努力克服等。
Step 3/ Step 4：造句成文(利用所列要点)
(学生在列纲的基础上，个人或小组造句成文，形成一篇100字左右的短文。)
造句成文六原则:
①状语提前原则     ②短语优先原则（合并单句/简化复合句）
③并列句和复合句原则（合并单句）④尝试特殊句原则（倒装 / 强调句等）
⑤长短句交替原则    ⑥短文分层分段原则
（学生对照屏幕上展示的汉语要点提纲和个人要点提纲，修改后选词造句成文）
利用所列要点提纲造句成文：（3人上黑板：_____）
1.体检后，史密斯先生拿到诊断书，说自己患了癌症。
2.得知这个消息，他感到很难过。
3.回到家后，妻子和女儿正等着他吃饭。他什么也不想吃,于是？。
4.过了些时间，他接到医生的电话，说他们犯了一个错误--误诊。
5.听到这消息，史密斯先生高兴地跳起来。妻子和女儿感到非常惊讶。
6.每个人都应该仔细工作，尽量不犯错误；否则，会给人们带来麻烦和痛苦。有时小错误会导致很大的损失。
讲评造句情况---展示分析满分句（书写等级）
（先分析画线部分的表达→然后点评黑板上写的句子→提问学生中有无其它更好的表达法→点评完一句，大屏幕展示一句满分句（满分句可根据表达需要提供几个不同的参考句子，可利用软件附上音频）。→并让学生听读一遍满分句。
全部评价结束后给黑板上的句子打上书写等级，其他学生自我/相互评价书写等级，以培养学生良好的书写习惯。
 1．①After (a) physical examination, Mr. Smith got his diagnosis. The diagnosis said he suffered from cancer. (一般)
②After (a) physical examination, Mr. Smith got his diagnosis, which said he suffered  from cancer. （好）---状语提前 /（使用从句）复合句原则
③After physical examination, Mr. Smith got his diagnosis, saying he suffered from cancer.（好） 状语提前 / 短语优先原则(非谓语动词短语)
2．①He knew the news. He felt very sad. (一般)
②When he Knew that, he felt very sad. （好）（使用从句) 复合句原则
③Knowing that, he felt very sad. （好）短语优先原则(非谓语动词短语)
 3．① He got home. His wife and daughter were waiting for him to have dinner. He didn’t want to eat anything . (一般)
② When he got home, his wife and daughter were waiting for him to have dinner. But he didn’t want to eat anything, so he went to his bedroom.（好）
并列句 /（使用从句）复合句原则。
 4．①Some time later, he received a call from his doctor. They said they made a mistake. The diagnosis was wrong. (一般)
②Some time later, he received a call from his doctor, saying they made a mistake that the diagnosis was wrong.（好）状语提前/短语优先/复合句原则
③After some time, he received a call from his doctor, which said they made a mistake that the diagnosis was wrong. （好）状语提前 / 短语优先 (非谓语动词) /（使用从句)复合句原则
 5．①When he heard that, Mr. Smith was very happy and jumped. His wife and daughter were very surprised. (一般)
②As soon as he heard that, Mr. Smith jumped with joy, making both his wife and daughter very surprised. （好）短语优先(非谓语动词) / 复合句原则
     (as soon as = the moment = the minute = immediately---)
③On hearing that, Mr. Smith jumped with joy, which made both his wife and daughter very surprised. （好）短语优先/复合句原则
 6．Everyone should work carefully, trying to make no mistake; otherwise, you will give people so much trouble and suffering. Sometimes a small mistake will lead to great losses.
短语优先(非谓语动词) / 并列句 / 状语提前原则
（学生发布短文：学生个人或小组形成短文可在课上发布，也可上交老师课后批阅后讲评时发布。）
满分作文赏析: Form a passage with 4 paragraphs.+造句成文6原则
After physical examination , Mr. Smith got his diagnosis, which said he suffered from cancer. From www.liuxuepaper.com
Knowing that, he felt very sad. When he got home, his wife and daughter were waiting for him to have dinner. But he didn’t want to eat anything, so he went to his bedroom.
Some time later, he received a call from his doctor , saying they made a mistake that the diagnosis was wrong . As soon as he heard that, Mr. Smith jumped with joy, which made both his wife and daughter very surprised.
Everyone should work carefully, trying to make no mistake; otherwise, you will give people so much trouble and suffering. Sometimes a small mistake will lead to great losses.

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