It is reported that China owns the most cell phones in the world.Cell phones play an important part in our daily life.Whenever we can contact people .It is very convenient.It also has many functions.Such as:sending short messages,taking photos,listening to music and so on.But it is also bad for our health.We had better not use cell phone.We have few chances talk with the others face to face.It is a bad influence on their study.We should use cell phone properly.
批 改 老 师:白老师
评 分:94分
级 别:优秀
评 语:
本文表达了对使用手机的看法,表达清晰,语言流畅。文中使用“cell phones”这个复数形式来表达“手机",后面几处也应是用复数形式,保持前后一致。,本文全篇表述“手机”对“我们”的影响,因此,倒数第二句中的“their”应改为“our”。“have chances to do sth.”为固定短语,文中漏掉了“to“。“Whenever we can contact people.”此句缺少主句,应改为“Whenever we contact people, we can use them.”。“We have few chances to talk with the others face to face."此句与前后联系不够紧密,可改为“We have few chances to talk with others face to face because of using them.“。作者的英语基础不错,应与应用能力也较好,但写作能力还需加强。