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中考英语书面表达优秀范文赏析(2)

时间:2010-06-16 08:26来源:英语作文网 作者:英语作文 投稿收藏:收藏本文
中考 英语书面表达优秀 范文 赏析#e# 例2: 健康对于我们每个人来说是非常重要的,但你的父母天天忙于工作而忽略了这个问题,你很为他们担忧。请你以此为话题,并结合提示给他们写一封信。 提示: 1.要走路去上班,
中考英语书面表达优秀范文赏析#e#

  例2:

 

  健康对于我们每个人来说是非常重要的,但你的父母天天忙于工作而忽略了这个问题,你很为他们担忧。请你以此为话题,并结合提示给他们写一封信。

  提示:1.要走路去上班,而不是开车或坐车;

  2.每周至少去体育馆锻炼一次,或打球、或游泳;

  3.饮食要健康;

  4.不要工作太晚,要早休息。

  要求:1.短文结构完整,意思连贯,语言流畅,语法准确,符合逻辑;

  2.80—100词左右;

  3.开头和结尾部分已给出,不计入总词数。

  构思方法:

  1.找到信息点。

  2.这个题目的信息点应该是:

  a.作为儿(女)担忧父(母)的身体状况;

  b.上班最好步行;

  c.每周至少一次到体育场馆从事体育锻炼(球类运动、游泳等);

  d.健康的饮食;

  e.早睡不熬夜。

  写作方法:

  1.首先要谈到对父(母)的身体状况担忧。

  2.然后引出希望父(母)怎么做。

  3.作为小辈向父母提出建议和要求时,要注意语气,不可以命令。

  4.注意信的写作格式。


学生的作文:

  (1)

  Dear Dad(Mum),

  You’re so busy every day that you don’t pay much attention to your health. I’m worried about your health all the time. I’d like to give you some suggestions. I hear walking is the best sport. Your company isn’t far from home, is it? Why not walk to the office? You’d better take exercise at least once a week, such as playing tennis in the gym. Going to swim is also a nice choice, too. What’s more, it’s necessary to have healthy food. Try not to stay up too late. Having enough sleep can help your brain work better.

  Dad, please accept my advice. I really wish you healthy!

  Your loving son (liuxuepaper Note:daughter)

  Tom (Mary)

  (2)

  Dear Dad(Mum),

  You’re so busy every day that you don’t pay much attention to your health.I am worried about you. I hope you can keep healthy. You often drive to your office. It is not far.What about walking there because it can make you much stronger?I’d like you to play basketball or go swimming in the gym at least once a week. It is important to eat healthy food such as vegetables, meat, eggs and fruits. Though your work is hard, I still hope that you can go to bed early so that you can get enough sleep.

  I’m looking forward to receiving your letter.

  Your loving son (daughter)

  Tom (Mary)

作文地带总结:这两篇作文使用了I’d like to…,Why not…?It is important to do…,Try not to do…,I hope that…,What about doing…?I’d like you to do…,You’d better do…等婉转口气的请求句式,表达出了作者对父(母)的关心,信息点完整,内容充实,注重了书信的结尾形式。

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