有关医生和病人的幽默和笑话

　　我曾经有多重人格，但我们现在感觉很好。

　　Once I had multiple personalities, but now we are feeling well.

　　我不为疯狂苦恼，我享受每一分钟。

　　I don''t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute.

　　我过去常常犹豫不决，现在我不肯定。

　　I used to be indecisive. Now I''m not sure.

　　作为一个精神分裂患者最大的好处是我从不孤单。

　　The best thing about being schizophrenic is that I''m never alone.

　　一个小伙子进去看心理医生，“我好象和别人交不了朋友，你能帮帮我吗：你这头胖猪。”

　　A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, It seems I can''t make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?

　　创新句子：我是真心和你交朋友，你傻乎乎的该知足了。

　　A：医生，快点儿，我儿子吞了一个刮胡子刀片。

　　B：别慌，我马上就到，你做了什么没有？

　　A：我用电动剃须刀刮了胡子。

　　Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade.

　　Don''t panic, I''m coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?

　　Yea, I shaved with the electric razor

　　病人手术后醒过来，外科医生对他说，“恐怕还要给你做次手术，我把橡胶手套落你肚里了。”

　　“如果就这点儿事儿，你让我安静会儿吧，我给你手套钱。”

　　The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: I''m afraid we''re going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.

　　Well, if it''s just because of them, I''d rather pay for them if you just leave me alone.

　　医生：我有一条坏消息和一条非常坏的消息。

　　病人：还是先给我说坏消息吧。

　　医生：你的检查结果出来了，你只能活24小时了。

　　病人：24小时，太可怕了，还有什么比这更糟糕的呢？非常坏的消息是什么？

　　医生：从昨天我就一直在找你。

　　Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

　　Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

　　Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

　　Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What''s the very bad news?

　　Doctor: I''ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.

　　一个人最近感觉不好，就去看医生，想做次全面体检，看看是不是病了。体检后医生拿着检查结果出来了。

　　“恐怕不是什么好消息，你快死了，没有多少时间了，”医生说。

　　“太可怕了，我还能活多长时间？”这人问。

　　“10…”医生说。

　　“10什么？月？星期？还是什么？”病人急切地问。

　　“10， 9， 8，……”

　　A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn''t been feeling well and wants to find out if he''s ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.

　　I''m afraid I have some bad news. You''re dying and you don''t have much time, the doctor says.

　　Oh no, that''s terrible. How long have I got? the man asks.

　　10... says the doctor.

　　10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?! he asks desperately. liuxuepaper.com