"You will be pleased with me today, mother," said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. "I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it." "Well," said his mother laughing, "Next time you should run after a taxi, you will...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?" "Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered. "Look, the digits in the meter are still running w...

双语 笑话 英文幽默 时间就是金钱

When I was a high school senior, I saw an inspirational ad on TV about becoming a teacher. I called the number shown: 800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, I babbled on about how I thought I had found my life's calling and could she send me information. Sh...

英文 双语 笑话

By the time Bill arrived in a little town, every hotel room had been taken. "You’ve got to give me a room somewhere," he said to the manager at the hotel, "or just a bed --- I don’t care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one guest," admitted the...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

When my husband was taking a college English class, his teacher announced, "For your assignment, I want you to describe yourselves in ten words or less.” My husband wrote, "Succinct." 我丈夫在修一门大学英语课程，他的老师在课上宣布，“下面是你们的作业，我要求你们用10个或更少的字...

英文 双语 笑话

One day, Tim's mathematic teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right, The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised, He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happen...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water." "But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal...

双语 笑话 英文幽默 热与冷

A man and his wife were on a holiday.Theywent for a sail. Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found. Two weeks later he received a wire saying: "Body recovered yesterday cove...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

Snow was falling heavily the day I decided to visit a car dealership. I was confident I'd get a great deal, figuring the salesmen would be desperate for customers on such a lousy day. Sure enough, when I entered the showroom, I was the only client. But my...

英文 双语 笑话

In the traffic ourt of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her ca...

双语 笑话 英文幽默