Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim o...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?" Bill: "If you had the chance t...

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The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. "The last time she came," he objected, "I didn't catch a single fish." "I'll talk to her," his mother said, "and I promise this time she won't make any n...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two." The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?" "I finally g...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

"You will be pleased with me today, mother," said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. "I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it." "Well," said his mother laughing, "Next time you should run after a taxi, you will...

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As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?" "Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered. "Look, the digits in the meter are still running w...

双语 笑话 英文幽默 时间就是金钱

By the time Bill arrived in a little town, every hotel room had been taken. "You’ve got to give me a room somewhere," he said to the manager at the hotel, "or just a bed --- I don’t care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one guest," admitted the...

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One day, Tim's mathematic teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right, The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised, He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happen...

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A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water." "But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal...

双语 笑话 英文幽默 热与冷

A man and his wife were on a holiday.Theywent for a sail. Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found. Two weeks later he received a wire saying: "Body recovered yesterday cove...

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