"All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head." "Don't listen to them," his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes." "Where's the shopping bag?"...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

Grandma's Busy Home There was a man who came to his friend's house to pick up a little child for preschool, and he saw an elderly woman hugging the child before they left the house. So, the man said, "Who's that?" and the child responded, "It's my grandmo...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

Been Okay A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is bur...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

A preacher is buying a parrot. "Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher. "Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him. "Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the ...

笑话 英文幽默 传教士买鹦鹉

As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?" "Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered. "Look, the digits in the meter are still running w...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression. Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?" The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month." Bartender: "That should make you h...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aeroplane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small plane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend pers...

双语 笑话 英文幽默

男：Can I buy you a drink? 我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？ 女：Actually I'd rather have the money. 不必，我很有钱。 男：Can I have your name? 直译：我能有你的名字吗？ 女：Why? Don't you already have one? 为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？ 男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a fac...

幽默 笑话 英文幽默

I can go home One day after school the teacher said to his students, "Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my firstquestion, I will permit him or her to go home earlier." The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the black...

双语 英文幽默

顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了！ 服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！ Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot! 一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。 “你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上...

英文 幽默 英文幽默