An opponent lost his head While making a long, dull speech, a politician received a great deal of heckling(诘问) from the gallery. Secondly, someone threw a cabbage onto the stage. Ladies and gentlemen, said the politician , I see that one of my opponents h...

英语笑话

Why he couldn't leave? There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker wal...

英语笑话

相同的职责 一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵，勤务兵也退休在家。这位将军花了一整个晚上的时间来说服他回来做他的贴身随从。“你的职责与在军队时完全一样，”将军说，“这没什么，你很快就会再次理解它的。” 第二天早晨八点钟时，前勤务兵迅速地进到前将军的卧室...

英语笑话

Keep the Change One sweltering（酷热的） day, I was scooping ice cream into cones and told my four children they could buy a cone from me for a hug. Almost immediately, the kids lined up to make their purchases. The three youngest each gave me a quick hug grab...

英语笑话

A Real Watch Dog A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog(导盲犬) that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor, took the dog by the chain, and started swinging him around his head. Everyone stopped what they were doin...

英语笑话

Alligator Shoes A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way(非常地), but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with...

英语笑话

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey. 一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时，发现...

英语笑话 The Monkey The Monkey

A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed! 精明的家...

英语幽默 英语笑话 双语幽默

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, even the brake pedal!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the ...

英语阅读 英文幽默 英语笑话

The Looney Bin Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!" 疯人院 一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿...

英语阅读 英语短文 英语笑话