Clever midget Q. What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? A. One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt...

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Good for sex Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active. The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly dimi...

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Popeye turns 75 Popeye turns 75 this year. You can tell the sailor man is getting older. He no longer eats spinach to fight Brutus... He now does it to fight irregularity....

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Dating Two elderly gentlemen were talking. The first one boasted. Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me. But to be perfectly honest, I don't quite understand it. Well, said his friend, you have to remember that now...

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Lonely on the Farm Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a mon...

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monica One day monica lewinsky walks into a dry cleaners with a dress, she tells the man. can i get this washed the man couldn't hear that good says, come again monica says no mustard....

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Mama Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll tak...

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The Bear and the Hunter There once was a hunter who went bear hunting with a shotgun. He saw a bear, fired and missed. The bear grabbed him and raped him. He was real mad, so he left to purchase an M-16 and came back. He saw the same bear, fired and misse...

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The Worlds Longest Penis The two guys with the biggest penises in the world wanted to have a contest. They wanted to see whose penis was the biggest. Not wanting everyone to see their contest they decided to walk from Brooklyn over the Verrazano Bridge to...

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Getting Weighed Scott took his blind date to the carnival. What would you like to do first, Mary? asked Scott. I want to get weighed, she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale, it read 117 and she won a ...

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